fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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