Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
