There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
