just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
