Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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