Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
