i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Randomize
