dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
