we made out on top of his cat.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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