May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
