i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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