I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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