We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she woke up with a sticky ear
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Randomize
