Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
