I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
