Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
