They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
