I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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