This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
