you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
