I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Randomize
