I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
one might say we're banned from that church
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Randomize
