he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
