what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
