Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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