The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
