Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
