How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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