Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
