he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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