Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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