The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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