Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
