I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
