I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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