Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
