Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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