I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We are all done wearing pants today
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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