so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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