You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
