We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
