What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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