apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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