It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
