Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
