Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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