the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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