You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
