no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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