i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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